It seems that the financial crisis has caused more than just the American economy to go limp. Now two pornography moguls are asking the newly-reconvened US Congress to approve a $5-billion bailout plan for the flaccid adult entertainment industry ?to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America.?

The congressional bailout for the nation?s pornographers was proposed by Hustler magazine founder Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild video series creator Joe Francis. According to Francis, the porn industry needs a bailout package similar to the one approved for the US auto industry because ?Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation?s most important businesses, [and] we feel we deserve the same consideration.?

Flynt said the recession has made Americans ?too depressed to be sexually active.? ?This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such, but they cannot do without sex,? he said, according to a report from Agence France-Presse.

To listen to the two pornographers, it seems that while hard times are upon us, most Americans have gone dangerously soft. Or, as Flynt explains it: ?With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind.?

Still, Francis insists, many Americans turn to porn to raise their spirits, among other things, when the economy depresses them. ?In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.?

There has been no immediate reaction from the US Congress for the proposal to bail out the porn industry. Perhaps they?ve decided to study bailout packages for more hard-up (as in ?distressed?) sectors before coming to the aid of the purveyors of porn.

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The government in Manila should immediately act to restore peace and order at the Pampanga provincial capitol, where an embattled Gov. Eddie Panlilio is constantly under threat from alleged ?protesters? who have transmogrified into a dangerous mob out to get the governor and his top people.

Not content with holding peaceful protests at the grounds of the capitol building in San Fernando, the rallyists this week attempted to force their way into the governor?s office. Only the presence of guards outside Panlilio?s second-floor office prevented bloodshed at the capitol.

After they failed to take over the priest-governor?s office, the rallyists attempted to storm the provincial administrator?s office in the same building. But the employees in that office locked the doors and stopped the rallyists one more time.

But two balikbayan nephews of Panlilio did not escape the wrath of the mob. When the two tried to take down the ?libelous? (according to the governor) streamers that the protesters had hung outside the capitol, they were mauled.

According to the governor, all these incidents happened in full view of the provincial police?whose commanders Panlilio has been trying to replace for more than a year. When the governor asked the police to arrest the protesters responsible for the attacks, they refused.

?For more than 18 months now, I have been asking the President no less to replace [Pampanga provincial commander] Col. Keith Singian, to no avail. Today, I am  raising again my voice calling the PNP leadership, the DILG secretary, and the President for the relief of Col. Singian, Col. Medina, the chief of police of the City of San Fernando, and their men for gross dereliction of duty and incompetence. I am personally filing my petition for their relief to the office of the DILG secretary, the chief PNP  and the Napolcom,? the embattled governor said. Singian and his other officers have denied Panlilio?s charges.

Panlilio is also accusing the members of his own Sangguniang Panglalawigan of complicity in the protests. The governor said that the provincial board allowed the conversion of a park near the capitol building into a full-time staging area for protesters who want him to stop making changes to the lucrative system of sand quarrying in Pampanga.

The long-running protest is being staged by the Federation of Pampanga Truckers Inc, which groups the people who make a living hauling sand from Pampanga?s quarries, and dismissed ?checkers? from the Biyaya A Luluguran at Sisikapan (Balas).